Cause and Effect

When i am spiraling downwards and into the thinly veiled depression that sometimes greets my life, it seems as though i always bring someone down with me. Not in a way that i grab them and pull them down, but i bring a mental hostage with me, my mental persona of that person tethered to my flailings against the impossibility that is my down strokes, and it is always a girl, and i am always convinced that i am in love.

OR

When i fall for a girl and she does not share my same feeling, it tips the wavelength in a downward path. My frequency is higher than most peoples, the ups higher and the downs lower, and when i get spurned, or, not even spurned but not greeted with immediate and mostly unsolicited love in return, i fall apart. It is always paired with something else, mostly academic, but sometimes economic, and then the two spiral off of each other, the double helix that makes my life possible now just a double chute, accelerating my descent.

it should be AND

Kevin Sweeney 812 322 8090

The First Paragraph of the Most Unusual of all Research Papers

"Is it wise?" i could hear Stevie Smith asking me as i lay in my bath tub smoking the days last cigarette,
I loved the way her blue eyes shone when i told a joke, or the way her neck snapped up when i would tease her, just loud enough to guarantee she would overhear, but soft enough she thought she was catching me. I imagined that i would love to wake up to her smile, or with just a strand of her golden hair splayed across my face, her form moving ever so slightly with breath as i coaxed myself back to sleep. I wondered how i would feel when she hurt me for the first time, when we fought even though we never thought we would. I knew i could forgive her, but there would have been unease as i contemplated the possibility she might not forgive me. That never happened, though, because i had waited too long, and now we were about to graduate.